Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
