if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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