IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize