Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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