My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
