hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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