I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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