Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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