question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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