Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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