She's JV to your varsity
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
