i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
