So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
two words...techno handjob
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
