hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
