fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
