You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
