Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
