there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
