wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize