remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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