Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
