I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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