But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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