Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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