Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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