he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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