I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
