Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
