Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
