I'm really into asian looking animals
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
