Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize