dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
