Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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