We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
