I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
