This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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