She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
