I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
