And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
