You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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