he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
