According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
