dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
