So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This baby is an asshole
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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