I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
