"it" just moved
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
