Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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