Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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