when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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