I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
