2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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