just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
