well I can't set my house on fire every night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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