She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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