well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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