my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
