Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize