The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
