So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
