32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I love having hate sex.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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